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Page 4

As Only an RSM Can... from page 3

The RSM had stood at the door to my office at Bn HQ, put his cap on, returned his pace stick under his arm, tweaked his incredible waxed 8" moustache and asked me, "How do I look?" to which I replied "You look magnificent RSM." He replied, "You are a very astute young officer," then he turned about and, standing his full 6' 2" with moustache quivering, he screamed, meaning that he could be heard over the entire Terandak Garrison, "Defaulters!! Ah-ten-cha!! !"
Then moving to the first defaulter in line, "What's your name, soldier?" he bellowed. `Smith, sir," squeaked the absolutely terrified prisoner. "Where are you from, Private Smith?" "B Company, sir," was the cringing reply. "What are you charged with?" "Out of bounds, sir."
Deathly silence.
Then in a voice that could easily be heard in Brisbane and Bangkok; "OUT OF BOUNDS???? OUT OF BOUNDS???!!!!
So! Not only a military criminal-but a dirty little military criminal as well! Does your mother know that you are a dirty, little military criminal, Private Smith?"
Not surprisingly, the brand new Digger all but evacuated his bowels.
This lesson was not lost on the other six, each of whom was terrified that he would be next to have his name and crime broadcast over the entire garrison.
With an incredible amount of noise from yelled orders and crashing of boots, Private Smith was quick marched into the CO's office, duly found guilty and marched out with even more noise, banging boots and booming voices and halted beside the unfortunates still awaiting trial and their inevitable fate.
A deathly silence then settled as the RSM positioned his mouth five centimetres to the left rear of the left ear of Private Smith.
Then in the Brisbane - Bangkok voice: "Private SMITH of BEEEE COMPANEEEEEY of the 4th Battalion, the Royal Australian Regiment, you have been found GUILTYYYY of the charge of OUT OF BOUUUNDS. You have been fined FOORTY DOLLAAARS AUSTRALIAN, sentenced to SEVEN DAAYS IN THE SLAMMER and CONFINED TO BARRACKS FOR F O U R T E E E E E E N DAAAYS!!!!!!!!!!!"
A very, very pregnant pause.
From here you will be transported back to Australia in chains as a military criminal!!" "Sheriff!!! (Sgt Curley Jones) Grease the hinges!!! Polish the handcuffs!!!! You have a prisoner!!!!!" Not one of those seven was ever charged again.
They probably haven't had sex or slept without nightmares since that moment. Nor would most soldiers who were within hearing range that day. I'm glad that I had already had my children because I haven't had sex since either and I was the Assistant Adjutant and only a witness to the proceedings. How can we put a value on that lesson for young diggers on their first foray overseas?
May all regiments be lucky enough to be blessed with the likes of Paddy Brennan, Tony Toghill, Jock Richardson and Denny Cook.

EMU BOB Sick Parade
From the list of people being treated and hospitalised for various ailments, some very serious indeed, it would seem that time and our efforts as soldiers are catching up with us.
To all those that are in hospital or sick at home and there are a lot, we think of you and wish you all the best for a speedy recovery. Keep smiling.
Des Tranter has undergone a very serious operation which cost him a leg and John `Snow' Vautin isn't too well ; neither is Geff Frew and John McGhee.
We would all probably sign up again if it wasn't for the neck, back, leg, knee, shoulder, lung, eyesight, baldness, weight and those silly age restrictions.

The Web
Check out: www.izunta.com and www.diggerhistory.info
In the meantime we are in the process of gathering all member's Email addresses and heading for a website common to all state associations.

Ropes Toghill
Not only did the whole task force know that you were a military criminal in SVN 68/69 when the RSM informed you of your `award' from CO's Orders, but every VC and NVA in the province instinctively stood to attention to hear the result.

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Last modified:
Sunday, 24 February 2013 22:36:52